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Jul. 21st, 2015

Reno: Dangle

Friends Only

Paranoia

ETA: Once in a while, I post little public snippets of an entry to show what my updates are like.

Jan. 7th, 2014

Reno: Dangle

Book Review? yea its a book review

Started reading more books as of last year. Actually I made a lot of changes last year but I don't think I documented anything. Let me go back to the beginning.

2012 was in-fucking-sane. I worked hard and played hard. I had two cleaning jobs so, i was working full time hours. I'd get up at 7am and go to work until noon, chillax for a few hours till my second job from 6-10pm. I showed up drunk quite frequently. But my boss had a huuuuge crush on me, letting me get away with murder. He'd offer to bring me Chinese food at times (cuz honestly ya'll i was starving, all the money i had went to ridiculous bills that were up to the tune of $400ish bi-monthly ontop of rent). At one point he had asked me to become his live-in maid haha. fuck no man, i'm not fit to be living around children.

I ended up losing that job because they asked me to go in for a piss test. I flunked that shit, tested positive for marijuana. Then they gave me a second chance to re-take it in a week or two, which i flunked too. But it was totally not my fault. I had asked a friend who was staying clean for some of his piss the weekend prior, he agreed. It was smooth sailing until someone brought around a bag of coke, i was interested in buying some so i took a little taste, to see if my mouth would go numb. Mr. CleanPiss claimed it was unfair that i could dabble and he couldn't so he decided to even things up by taking a taste too. This was literally less than 12 hours before the fucking piss test. He said it wouldn't show up blah blah blah. It fucking did. While i tested negative for marijuana, it came up positive for cocaine lol. My boss texted me the results and all I could do was laugh at that point. Cuz i totally fucking knew that was gonna happen. Then i remembered i'm out of a job so i was pissed. But i started delivering pizzas the next week so that break in cash flow was short-lived.

...

When I played, I enjoyed myself immensely but i was not making the right choices at all. Like I was homeless for 2 weeks and was doing anything that was offered to me and sleeping around so i'd have a place to crash at. It was horrid lol. I didnt think it was horrid at the time but hindsight is 20/20. I'm honestly not embarrassed about what I went through because hey fuck it i've lived but at the same time I wouldn't make this information quite public. Because people have a tendency to use this kind of stuff against you. Bunch of thumb-suckers.

Then this lifestyle kind of crumbled one night - i had done a couple of lines of molly (worst drug ever) and drank everclear all day prior going to a party. At the party, i just got even more fucked up with shots of absinthe, kegstands, blunts, and some fatass stogies. I started feeling sick so I decided to go home, alone. i got in the car and completely blacked out. i drove home blind. I remember hearing cars honking at me because I wasn't moving in the middle of an intersection. Upon arriving at my place, i still didnt have a key at that point because i had never been on the lease in any place i've lived so i ended up passing out on the steps like a fucking piece of street trash. Then i had the worst hangover for days. Just continually vomiting tequila. I had already desecrated the bathroom by vomiting wine all over the shower a week ago. pretty shades of purple on the walls. hahaha. but yea, this was rock bottom. i wasn't doing anything about my un-finished degree and i was dicking around with menial jobs, so in the bigger picture i wasn't going anywhere. after that drunk driving episode, i felt guilty. cuz i could have killed someone man. so that was the straw that broke the camels back. i decided it quit everything, cold turkey. i couldn't sleep for 2 months until i finally gave in and took one itty-bitty aspirin and slept like a baby.

so thereafter i had decided to focus on other things that made me happy. school, soccer, books, games. so yea, i just finished reading the first book in the 50 shades series. It sucks. lol.

Thats my review, le finis ;) i'll probably read a bukowski next time

Nov. 2nd, 2011

Reno: Dangle

Grumbles...

LJ just showcased a new community, tall... and there's no community for short people. Hmph. I'm tempted to create one.

Oct. 26th, 2011

Reno: Dangle

(no subject)


Life ends when you stop dreaming, hope ends when you stop believing, love ends when you stop caring, friendship ends when you stop sharing...


I need a more active f-list.

Jul. 7th, 2011

Reno: Dangle

Mothafuckin PIMP!

Just landed two jobs in a span of one week. I WIN!!

For now anyways.

I still have loads of dramaz going on. Really, its not drama... it's just people are irritating me (as usual). Girls are being catty and the boys are being overwhelming. I've met a few princes this summer though. :) They're all adorable but I'm still wary anyways haha. I'm only going to be here for a few more months so I don't want to invest myself into anything short-lived. I'm wayy too lavishing in the romance department.

Apr. 28th, 2011

Reno: Dangle

Summer Internship Woes

I need one more internship to get my diploma from school. I applied at a place a while ago that I was sure to get but I was turned down. Wah!

I have an interview in about an hour at a daycare on-campus. It's a little unorthodox but honestly, I need more experience with babies and kids so I can satisfy some kind of inner femininity. Become more well-rounded ya know. I have skills but they're of a different set. I've babysat my brother numerous times but that's my brother, I'm not comfortable with other people's babies so this would be a good opportunity. I really doubt I'm going to get the job though but it's good to go in for an interview anyways.

I sent out an email to ASDB but I haven't heard back from anyone just yet. I should check out more places in San Diego.
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Apr. 3rd, 2011

Awkward Sexual Advances

Lots of little papers.

In the past month, I've been inundated with phone numbers. It's a nice ego boost but at the same time it's really conflicting on the inside. I feel like I make an awesome first impression but everything else that follows is just complete utter crap. I don't understand why they all want to talk/lunch/fuck/date me. Whatever their goal is.

I hate being so suspicious of people. I hate the way they try to control the direction of the relationship. I so so so wish for somebody laidback enough who will just relax and let me take control. Yes the voyage might be slow at first but once I get comfortable enough, it'll take off like that *snaps*.

Mar. 31st, 2011

Reno: Dangle

I eat too much salt.

So I went to the gym today and over the last week I had maintained my weight at 147.2 and today I weighed 148.2 so I was like ugh. The gain made me more determined to work my booty off on the elliptical. Normally a one pound gain wouldn't upset me but I'd expect to weigh more when I'm on my period, which was last week so I was kind of hoping for a loss today.

Anyways, my point was - after I worked out, I stepped on the scale again and BOOM I was back to 147.2. Its impossible to sweat off a pound of fat in an hour and half. I obviously retain water. I love salt too much. I could do without bread, chocolate, and whatever but salt is my downfall. I don't even dash any salt on my food, I eat crap that's already naturally salty.

Currently, I have a goal of 140 lbs which would bring me out of the "overweight" range. It'd be ideal to be 135 by graduation. 10 pounds in a month and half is possible. 15 lbs is kind of pushing it. I'm trying to stick with something more realistic.

Mar. 2nd, 2011

Reno: Dangle

Cody <3

So I saw Cody last night. Spent like an hour half-exposed on his bed while he painted me with his sharpie. I LOVE it when people draw on me. It's a really sensual thing for me. Even with the ballpoint pens that require you to push down a little bit harder, it's like the soft core S&M version of the sharpie lol.

He drew on my legs first, earlier in the day he signed the letter 'B' to me and I pretty much turned into putty on the spot. Then he drew my name finger-spelled on my leg. Best tattoo idea ever, not the most ideal location though but honestly I'm running out of spots already anyways, maybe I'll do it on my hip. Later, he got the bright idea to draw on my stomach, I never show my stomach, it's just a no-no zone for anybody except for myself to look at before I get in the shower. And I'm usually spitting venom at myself about my flab. But he was drawing on it so it was like "okay... maybe I can deal with this," and I ended up really enjoying myself.
The final product in color and black & whiteCollapse )


Feb. 3rd, 2011

Reno: Dangle

The Simple Life

Referring back to this entry, I've decided she's Paris Hilton and I'm Nicole Ritchie. It totally fits, we're now frenemies hah.

I definitely take after Nicole, it's a little uncanny. She married the rock star that I've been crushing on since I was a pre-teen. We both share the same birthday. We're both the same height, and was about the same size. Hispanic origins, come on, I see more beaner than black in that girl. We both have weight and addiction issues. We're crazy about organic stuff. Yeah, I approve of Joel marrying this bitch. She has a way better head on her shoulders than Paris fucking Hilton.

I know I'm like way into horoscopes (maybe you guys don't know that yet) but this is eerie, Joel is a Pisces and I went to a tarot card reading a few weeks ago and she said I'd end up marrying a Pisces. This is fate y'all haha. Anyways, the tarot card reading was super vague but interesting. All of the cards really focused on love. Virgos tend to define themselves through their romantic relationships from what I've read. I'm definitely into this too much. This is like Religion Lite for me.

Long story short, I'm gonna meet a Pisces with an earth rising nearby a body of water during summer. Mr. Wonderful is supposed to be a computer hacker that works for the government and we'll have three children together and live a wonderful prosperous life. I'll have two boys and one girl, the girl shall be the middle child - good, she'll be neglected haha, I'm too mean about stereotypes. I'm gonna love roughhousing with my boys. My focus of my career will be writing but she didn't specify what. Too bad this stuff isn't in stone, it sounds like a wonderful life to live.

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